senseless

Today i have nothing to do but cry my eyes out. i long for the love which i have been deprived of all my childhood. it has now come to a time where i am forced to make a decision, my family or my freedom?

i love my father very much but he needs to understand i am a young girl with ambitions and dreams. i want to finish my studies and work in accounting.

i have everything ready. a new flat, a job and the area is nice. alhamdulillah for the first time in my life i am looking forward to something. many ppl hav said to me its dangerous for a young girl to be alone, but this is London!!!! i know my way around very well since i have lived here all my life.

looking at the suitcase gives me a sense of guilt. Am i being selfish? should i just stay with my father?

I wish i could escape this life and run away, as far as possible! I know this may sound crazy but i have been through a lot of bad experiences in life. for once i just want it to be peaceful. is that too much to ask?

now has come the time, my new home is ready and awaits me. i am off, wish me luck. inshallah everything will be ok, well...................................i hope it will be ok.

Behind the Veil

i wish i could jst cover up and get lost in my own surroudings. i am always being looked at by males. they r frm the same college and they constantly stare at me. i jst wish they would go somewhere else. i thught the hijab was suppose to stop them from looking at me a lot

Arranged marriages

some say they r good yet some loathe them. why do parents feel its neccassery to marry their kids off to people they havnt even met, or worse, cousins! havnt they thought of faulty genes and al the corruption it can cause?

i guess not

living two lives

In this blog i hope to achieve many things and one of them is find asnwers to why its so hard to fit in with the people you love.

I am a british born saudi. I was born in London, but my parents are from Saudi Arabia. I really love both countries as i feel they both play an important role in my life.

England to me is my second home as i was born,raised and educated here. I grew up in a liberal environment and some would even say i am a free person, yet i still feel that my legs are locked and my hands are chained.

Saudi Arabia is the love of my life. I love everything to do with saudi and i would happily return and spend the rest of my life there, but the only thing stopping me is that i am use to being able to do whatever i want.

Dont get me wrong people, i am a good muslim girl. I follow islam and i cover myself when in the presence of non-family men. I always wear the hijab and abaya when i go out and i am thinking of starting to wear the niqahb but that will take some time. Saudi to me is great but the lack of things to do is quite sad. I enjoy doing sports and competing in things like cross country races and horse riding, but in saudi i am locked behind doors as it is seen inappropriate for young girls to go out a lot.

oh how i wish i could live a british life in my beloved home land of KSA