The Comeback No.3...Hahahaha Yh Yh I know

A
- Available: Only if I like you
- Age: 19...in a few weeks time
- Annoyance: people who chew with their mouth open and make those nasty cat like noises
- Animal: Ying and Yang..my Goldfish

B
- Beer: Don’t drink
- Birthday: May 1990
- Best Friend: I cant choose.....
- Blind or Deaf: A bit of both
- Best weather: Desert storm
- Been in Love: A long long long time ago
- Believe in Magic: No
- Believe in Santa: Of course not

C
- Candy: Bubblegum filled Watermelon flavoured lollies
- Color: Green and White
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate
- Chinese/Mexican Food: Mexican
- Cake or Pie: Cake
- Continent to visit: I've been everywhere............... :s
- Cheese: Hate the stuff
- City or Country: Country

D
- Day or Night: Night
- Dancing in the rain: Done that..been there.
- Dreams: Been having nightmares lately

E
- Eyes: Hazel-Green
- Everyone’s got: Problems

F
- First thoughts waking up: Whats for breakfast?
- Food: Pizza

G
- Greatest Fear: Cockroaches...for the arabs out there..its called a Sarsar
- Goals: To pass my pilots tests and get my license
- Gum: Watermelon Flavour
- Get along with your parents: No Comment......
H
- Hair Color: Black
- Height: 5′10″
- Happy: When walking
- Holiday: Anytime away from family is a holiday
- How do you want to die: Am I suppose to answer that?!!!
I
- Ice Cream: Chocolate
- Instrument: Piano

J
- Jewelry: Rings....those £1 rings which I get down the market hahahahaha
- Job: Student :D

K
- Kids: Ummmmm Recently I have been thinking about not having kids....scared I guess
- Kickboxing or karate: Definitly Kickboxing......Winner of Under 14's Girls Kickboxing Club :D
- Keep a journal: nahhhh...i always start one and never take any notice of it

L
- Love: A Fragment of your imagination.....a good kick will sort you out

M
- Milk flavor: Strawberry
- Movies: Phonebooth
- Motion sickness: No, never
- McD’s or BK: McD's

N
- Number: 13

O
- One wish: To have more wishes
P
- Pepsi/Coke: Coke
- Perfect Pizza: Sweetcorn, tandoori chicken and mushroom
- Piercings: 1 on each ear and a belly button piercing.....heheheheh......

Q
- Quail: Its a bird.....and what?!

R
- Reality TV: Overrated
- Radio Station: Radios are old mannnnnnnnnnnnn

S
- Song: Various, R&B mostly
- Salad Dressing: Mayonnaise and Ketchup
- Sushi: Never tried it
- Shower: Twice a day
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries.. with cream

T
- Tattoos: I wish!!!...Mostly Henna
- Thunderstorms: Love them...curl up in bed with a good book and hot water bottle

U
- Unpredictable: All the time..

V
- Vacation spot(s): A deserted Island

W
- Weakness: Making people sad
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: ummm...none...otherwise I wouldnt be able to stand them
- Worst feeling: Being in a large group
- Worst Weather: Windy

X
- X-Rays: Twice a Year

Y
-Year it is now: 2009

Z
- Zoo animal: Peacock

Blood...Tears...Joy

Blessed are we, who naturally bleed,

the sun and the moon, mock all my need.

Searing rage, I live only for pain,

Hidden so deep and dark in my veins.

I saw it down, deep in your eyes,

the dawn is over, no more of your lies.

I feed off of you, live off your pride,

just like a leech along for the ride.

The wind it howls, screaming my name,

when it just whispers, it drives me insane.

I hear the souls suffer, I hear them die,

Resigned with remorse, I look to the sky

No more dreams, only seasons of strife,
please no more, I don't want this damned life.
I beg of you, can you not see,
cleanse me, annoint me, let me be free.

My Friend

What stays unspoken speaks in magnitudes,

Their thoughts articulated can attest,

And so despite our separate attitudes,

I must articulate what thoughts speak best:

We compliment each other more than most,

As if you are the print and I the page,

You are the one that speaks and I the host,

My timid silence fills the words you wage.

Though doubtless evidence proves interest,

I cannot muster words to bring an end,

With all conviction prove these thoughts exist,

To end my silence and name you my friend.

But nothing can or will be heard or said,

Until aloud this poem has been read.

Fragile.....Easily Broken

Fragile

All the pain

Seeping through

The walls

Barriers

Holding everything

Back

Pouring forth in

Echoes of fear

Frustration

Piercing of the heart

Pulling at

The memories

Sole anger

Deafening screams

Silent

Choked by

Music of the moment

Build it up

To watch it fall

Watch it crumble

Now only shattered

Dreams

Fragile

Tear-stained face

Look past the glass

Peering through the

Reflection

The mist

Sinking

Deep down under

A sharp reminder

A pull of reality

A jerk of the hand

Of the heart

Calling for a love

Never

To be found

A fragile heart

Beating in the dark

Identity...Do You Know Who You Truly Are?

First of all i want to say Good Luck to all those doing exams, this can be a stressful time for all.

It really has been a long time since i "blogged". Well i was just sitting here reading my birthday cards wen it hit me....I hadnt gotten a single card from anyone in my family. As I sat there thinking of the many reasons, I came across the fact that saudis dont "celebrate" birthdays. Now i am not saying this is true and i am not saying its not true but its just something which has always interested me. I have been to countless birthday parties in Saudi and no one has said anything about it being "7aram". As soon as u step out of Saudi its as if ur in another world.

So as I carried on to ponder, something told me to open up my mums old box. I dont know wat it was but i just got up and started to read her diary again. She wrote so many things about being a kid. She died at the age of 18, leaving me at a couple hours old. I am now 18 and start to wonder where I am trully from. Sure I wear the hijab and the abaya in a very ignorant british environment but is it possible to be more "Saudi"???? I cook the food, I wear the clothes...I even listen to the music. I dont do it because I have to but the fact that I love doing it. The food tastes great and the clothes r colourful. Always attracting attention from my western friends.

I guess what I am trying to figure out is if I can be more Saudi. I constantly bug my cousins and aunties to tell me about their lives back in Saudi. There is so much you can get from a diary.
Anyway...Heres a poem to you mama. Allah yar7ama

Allow the identity

to slip from your tongue,

and find resolution

in hearing your name

But intimacy lies

where fear comes undone

And losing seems inevitable

at the end of the game

The Comeback

Hey everyone....I so missed bloggin but before i start on rambling about what i have been up to during the past month, i have to say i was shocked by a certain someone. I have to admit i have been feeling kinda down after losing my best friend in a car accident and i also felt that i was wanted in my current environment....but a small comment frm Hopeless Poet made me feel so special so i say thank you Hopeless Poet :D

Anyway....these are things have been happening

1) Had an accident. Best fried died.....Allah bless her
2) Fell in love with my doctor...yes i can hear you all laughing looooooool
3) Doctor turns out to be a medical student from Riyadh whos been in London on work
experience
4) Doctor stays a few weeks...sees me a couple of times and then leaves me point blank
5) I move on.....I guess i should have listened to my cousin....I guess not all saudi guys r great
6) Scholarship came through
7) Spent 8 days in Riyadh enjoying all the wonderful weddings :D I designed my cousins dress and it was a big hit...I have 8 more orders to design which i hope will also be a success...walla i never imagined myself as a wedding dress designer

So i guess this is where life has taken me...I will try to write frequently..if i dont, you all permission to torment me :D hehehe ma3 salam ppl

Why Do White Girls Love Arab Men?

There i was, sitting sipping my coffee in Renee's cafe. iPod on full blast, i sat there waiting for my frend Elizabeth so that we could swap psychology notes. We met 2 minutes later, greeted each other with a kiss on each cheek and ordered more coffee. Then out of the blue she asks me if she can listen to my iPod, i was like sure, why not?

There she is with my iPod, suddenly i gotta use the toliet, so while i am trying to figure out where the soap dispenser is, shes outside flicking through my iPod, and what does she find? A picture of my older brother, who btw i only knew existed a few months ago. As soon as i sit down she asks me, "Hey is your bro single?". I was like what?!! " You went through my pics?" After 2 mins of me having a total freak out, i calm down and look at her with a smirk, as if to say hmmmm, why u so interested in my brother? this is wat we said, well briefly, i couldnt possibly write everything!

Eliza: Hey your bro is so hot, set us up Ahlam, oh come on be a frend.
(I gave her a surprised look)
ME: Can't, sorry, hes in saudi.
( A big smile on my face :D)
Eliza: oh, ok, well never mind, next time eh?
ME: yh, wat ever, ( i roll my eyes)
ME: hey why u so into arab guys?
Eliza: Dunno, i guess the way they speak, their skin colour, their smell.......
( At this point i spit my coffee out onto the floor cause i was bursting with laughter)
ME: Their smell?!!!! Wat the hell? Wat do u mean? ( I look at her face which was so blushing!)
Eliza: Well the perfumes they use arnt available here in London
ME: that's cause ur not looking in the right places, there r loads of arab shops in London
Eliza: yh......well we better go back to ur place and do our notes there, seems like its gonna rain.
ME: OMG, i left my washing out!

At this point we gather out belongings and run to my place, i guess i never did get the answer to my question, jst part of it. If you knw any more feel free to let me knw :D