My Inner Child

ok now this is freaky, its 00:28 here and i havnt gone to sleep for days now. i feel so tired yet my eyes wont shut and i have tried everything. from sleepings pills to counting sheep. i just hate being like this. anyway, i have booked my ticket to Saudi Arabia and i leave inshallah in june. i am going to stay for 8 weeks before i have to be back to come and recieve my results.

i was in college today and all people could tlk about was the graduation party in May. i mean come on! its like months away and ppl r worried about wat they r going to wear.

i jst thought to myself that maybe i should get a hobby. i mean i sit here doing nothing everyday, well apart from homework and stuff and maybe belly dancing class but thats it really. i need something which will make the adrenaline in my body shoot up and bring me to life. i have tried things like horse riding and swimming but they dont do nothing much to me.

someone once said to me, "follow wat ur heart wants" and i havnt really taken it into account until now. wat my heart is telling me is to get in touch with my roots. i mean sure yes i am saudi but there is loads of things i dont knw about my homeland, or even jst seeing parts of it. i been to riyadh,jeddah,medinah and makkah but thats it really. oh yh and dammam. i jst wanna get up and leave, you knw. jst get up and go anywhere in the world. as long as i have some company then i dont giv a damn where i go, i jst want a change fromt his miserable life i live. same routine day in day out and to me i jst wanna live

i wanna feel the breeze in my hair and the smell of freshly baked cookies coming from my neighbours window. i wanna splash around in clear sea water and make a big sandcastle with some shells and a door. hehheeh, look at me, like some kinda little kid, well i guess its cause i didnt have one.

ciao xxx